DRESSING YOUR BODY TYPE

I often get “compliments” from other women that believe I look good in anything or women that believe I can wear just about anything. I always laugh. The truth is I don’t look good in everything. I wear what I know is flattering to my figure and body type. Where you shop is not as important as knowing what to buy for your specific body type. I don’t dress based on what is trending in the season. I’m a lover of personal style of fashion. I don’t worry about trends or style of clothing being modest right from the store; most clothing can be modified to be worn modestly. Ladies, it’s important to know your body type and styles that flatter your figure. Just because something is trending doesn’t mean you should rock it. Trends come and go. Your personal style is an expression of you. Don’t simply wear what’s trending, in-season or what others are wearing. Dress to flatter the shape of your figure.

 

Body Types

 

The following are the four most common female body shapes/types:

·        Apple (downward triangle, Athletic)

·        Banana (rectangular, straight)

·        Pear, Spoon, or Bell (Upward triangle)

·        Hourglass Shape

 Body Shapes

 

 

1.  Straight Body Type (Banana Shape)

a.  Your hips and bust are balanced

b.  Your waist is not very defined

c.   You probably have a bottom that is more flat than round

d.  You tend to gain weight in your torso first and then your upper thighs and arms

e.  Your lower legs are always shapely and one of your best assets

Wear tops with belted waists, off the shoulder, boat-neck tops, wide V or U necks, structured shoulders, princess or flutter sleeves, embellishments around the bust and shoulders, and tops that are full, rushed or flowing around the bust. Find bottoms that add curves to your lower half while creating an hourglass effect. Go for full, tiered (layered) or bubble skirts; mid to low-rise waists with wide waistbands.

 

2.  Pear Body Type (Triangle Shape)

a.  Your hips are larger than your bust

b.  You have a nicely defined waist

c.   You have slim arms and shoulders

d.  You first gain weight on your bottom

e.  Your waist is one of your best assets

Enhance and add volume to your upper body while emphasizing your waist and de-emphasizing your lower body. Create a balanced, which can help you achieve an hourglass appearance. Find tops that will help balance your lower half; tops with fitted waists, with embellishments around the bust and shoulders, bold patterns and bright colors. Draw as little attention to your bottom as possible. Go for A-line skirts, and simple stitching and dark colors. Avoid heavy details that emphasize your bottom area, such as dresses and skirts that hug the widest part of your hips.

 

3.  Hourglass Body Type

a.  Your hips are larger than your bust

b.  You have a nicely defined waist

c.   You have proportionately slim arms and shoulders and neck

d.  You first gain weight on your bottom then upper body

e.  Your waist is one of your best assets

Proportionately dress the top and bottom of your body while accentuating your waist. Wide belts over shirts and dresses are a wonderful way to show off your waist. Look for tops that will emphasize your waist and balance your figure; fitted waist tops, wrap-style tops, tops with belts, and custom-made shirts and jackets. Paired with the appropriate tops, you can wear just about any type of bottom piece; high waist-skirts are great for hourglass body type.

 

4.  Inverted Triangle Body Type (Apple Shape or Athletic)

a.  You have a larger upper body

b.  You have broad shoulders, and full bust and a wide back

c.   Your hips are slim

d.  Your waist is subtle and you tend to gain weight in your belly and upper body

e.  Your beautiful, shapely legs are one of your best assets

Balance your broader shoulders, chest, and back with your narrower lower body to create more of an hourglass effect. Choose clothes that add curves to your hips and bottom while creating a more defined waist. Look for tops that will help balance your bust and hips, also emphasize your waist. Choose bottoms that will help enhance your lower body.

 

5.  Oval Body Type

a.  You have a large bust, narrow hip, and a full midsection

b.  You tend to gain weight in your stomach and upper body

c.   Your waist is undefined and the widest part of your figure

d.  Your buttocks are somewhat flat and your legs are slender

e.  Your shapely, graceful legs are one of your best assets

Keep the attention away from your midsection and create a more defined waist. Choose clothing that adds curves and fullness to your lower body and tops that taper to a waist. Wear tops with flare at the hips, vertical details, and tops with belts. Looks for bottoms with minimal emphasis on your lower half; full, tiered, flared or bubble skirts and mid-rise waist skirts with wide waistbands.

You can teach others a lot about yourself based on your style of dressing. It’s a way to say who you are without having to speak. It is more than just dressing well and making a statement. How you feel when you get dress is important. You can keep it simple or be bold. Whichever bold extreme or happy medium you choose, the result should be to look your best, please God, and feel great about it. I did not always dress modestly or wear flattering attire. My dad used to always tell me, the way you dress reflects the state of your heart. Why do you wear what you wear? What is your motive? How do you expect others to respond to you? If you are simple dressing to impress others, gets likes or compliments, you will most likely fail to dress for flatter your body type. Do what is best for your figure not what you think others will like. Remember to feel as great as you look. Make your goal to dress well for your figure and body type. Confidence is beautiful and never out of style; it’s suitable for all body shapes and types.

 

GET RID OF BITTERNESS

When I was in high school I dated this guy and in my mind, I thought he was it. It was real for me. This man did everything wrong you could have imagined; from lying to cheating with multiple women, and even being in other relationships. We broke up once and like any naïve, clueless, loyal woman “in love” with too much time invested I took him back. Nothing had changed, he was worse than before. I thought I could eventually change him and he’d realize I was worth more than that and do right by me. It is heartbreaking when a man can look you in the eye and say I love you, you can trust me, while he’s lying to you and cheating on you knowing you are loyal and faithful to him. He was only committed in words to my face, nothing else, nothing more. One day, he decided the military was the option for him and it was best we separated until he was ready in the future. I made sure to let him know that was it for me. There will never be a future for us. I had enough, I already sacrificed too much, I’m worth more than that, I deserve better, and would never be an us from that day forward. That day was in September 2009. I promised myself I would never let another use me or take advantage of me that way.

He wasn’t God’s will for my life. I had made a very costly mistake and unwise decision. We weren’t in a godly relationship, that eventually cost me my deepest regret & most precious part of me. I grieved it years after. I felt so ashamed, embarrassed, felt betrayed, guilty, heartbroken. I experienced so much regret and was extremely BITTER. I cried for days; not over him or losing a man worth keeping. I cried because I invested so much of myself in a person and relationship that I could never get back. I cried for the time and years wasted that could not be undone. I cried because I experienced some painful things no one should. I cried because I needed to release the pain I felt. From September 2009 to the end of that year I made it my goal to get myself together and focus on the things that matter. I stopped crying and turn to God. That was the only sure way I knew to stop the pain I felt and be restored. Through prayer and reading God’s Word I was over him and over it all. It was then God taught me true love 1 John 4:8. I meditated on that scripture and studied it, along with many others about love.

I thought I was good but throughout my pain and hurting process, the seed of bitterness grew within me. It took root and flourished. I despised all men and wanted nothing to do with any man. I couldn’t wait for that guy to hurt the way he had hurt me. I wanted him to suffer so he could feel the pain I felt. In my heart, I had murdered him (“Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer:” 1 John 3:15). I didn’t understand why God allowed him to hurt me and continued living. I didn’t want him to exist or ever have to look at him. I felt like he didn’t deserve any mercy. I was bitter and hateful and didn’t even realize it. I never thought I was capable of such feelings. I thought I was better than that. I began to have a series of dreams where my ex was begging me for forgiveness, “please forgive me”. Each time in each dream I would reply NO then walk away. I talked to my godmother about the dreams and she advised me to pray, God was trying to show me something.

I prayed to God. I asked him to help me understand the dreams and their meaning. I asked God to expose anything that was left in me I was still holding on, anything that was hidden from my knowledge. I didn’t believe I could ever hate anyone. I asked God to reveal it to someone and send that person to me. About a weeks later, my pastor at the time called me early Saturday morning to speak with me about a vision God gave him while he was in prayer. I didn’t have a close/trusting relationship with him or ever talked to him about the things that happened to me. He told me while he was praying God gave him a vision of God and myself. God was trying to take something away from me but I wasn’t letting it go. He said he’s not 100% sure what it was but from what God showed him it might be anger, hurt, or bitterness. As soon as he said that I remembered the prayer I prayed. I told him I knew what he was talking about and he told me then you should know what to do.

I went straight to my room that day and poured my heart out to God. I wept like I never had before. I told God how hurt I was, how betrayed I felt, how that guy never apologized to me for any hurt he caused me, I asked God to consider all the wrongs this man had done to me, how evil he was for hurting me and betraying my trust, and how I didn’t deserve any of it. God listened. As I sat silently before him. God pulled out a mirror and he led me to consider it. He asked me, what about you? Your own poor decisions allowed some of your hurt. You contributed to your own heartache. Why haven’t you trust me? I have been loyal and faithful to you. Why haven’t you accepted my love? I have pursued you. My love is pure. What about how you’ve wronged me and disobeyed my Word? How you ignored my warnings? At that moment, I realized how messed up I was myself, the lack of heart and respect I had for God and his Word, how I had defile myself, how lost and confused I had been, how broken I truly was, and how I was not any better than him. God gave me the scripture “But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” Matthew 6:15. Just like my ex I needed forgiveness, I never apologize to God for my wrongs, I was a sinner in need of grace and salvation, and I had wrong God on so many levels and ways. Forgiving was no longer a choice. That was the day I begin to fall in love with God and his Word.

Bitterness is a poisonous root. Anger, depression, anxiety are all things that grow out of the root of bitterness. We complain when we’re bitter and unable to see God working on our behalf. I expressed to God I didn’t how to let go, and where to begin uprooting my bitterness. I didn’t have the strength. I told God I didn’t know how to truly forgive but if he showed me how I would do it. God did it. I repented of my sins and wrongs. God taught me several more scriptures about forgiveness. I have all my hurt, regret, anger, and bitterness to God. I left it there at his feet then allowed him to restore me. He stayed very close and healed my broken heart. He gave me peace and I found true love in him. He has since been my model for love and forgiveness. I could, later on, write a letter to my ex and express that I forgave him for everything. I forgave him because God had forgiven me. He never apologized or said I’m sorry. I was no longer searching or waiting for that. I found peace and LOVE, God himself. No man can compare to that.

If you want to heal from emotional wounds:

Let God rescue you from death and forgive all your sins Isaiah 38:17

Bitterness will hold you captive by sin Acts 8:23. Let it go.

Ask yourself: “Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again— my Savior and my God!” Psalms 43:5

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.” Ephesians 4:31

 

God is love! True love, forgiveness, and healing start with God.

 

God allowed it all to save me from a terrible situation. He had a better plan and a future for me. I’m married to one of the best husbands any woman could hope for. I would not trade the joy, peace, and amazing husband God blessed me with for anything I had then.

Once In A Lifetime

ANXIOUS?

For anybody that’s struggling with stress & anxiety:

I struggled a lot with anxiety in my college years. I know that it’s different for everyone, being that the source of anxiety and levels of it varies. I became obsessed with proving my parents wrong & anyone else that said my life would amount to nothing. At the time, I wasn’t making wise decisions or living entirely right, so I struggled a lot. I developed so many fears. I was afraid I would never graduate, I would never become successful, or ever become who I planned to be. The list goes on. I did not think I had what it takes anymore to achieve my goals. My anxiety grew as I started focusing on where I should have been and the things I should have accomplished at that point in my life. Constant trips back to the mistakes I made was fuel to the fire. I became so anxious, I started having panic attacks any time I thought of my past or future. I hated where I was, so much that I had the worse thoughts one could imagine. I was so uncertain about life. I did end going to the ER several times. 

I did not tell my parents what I was going through. They were a part of my problem at the time. I did not think they would understand, nor have a solution for me. I tried so hard to live up to their expectations, and when I fell short the criticism was not constructive but rather unbearable. I tried to perfect everything I did and was unreasonably hard on myself. I lived a stressful life. I was already saved. I gave up the world and worldly things. Alcohol used to be one of my coping mechanisms. I didn’t turn back but I didn’t know how to deal my stress and anxiety or who I could talk to. People don’t really talk about being stress or anxious or depressed.

One night, I had the worse panic attack I had ever have. I was losing my mind, strength in body, and I felt like I was going to die. The spirit of fear was in my room with me. I felt like I was being sucked into this never-ending black hole of fear and darkness. During my darkness, I heard the voice of God. He said, “The Word”. It repeated in my mind, until I got the understanding, grab your bible and read it. I did. I read out loud. All I knew after that was that I woke up the following day in complete peace. I prayed and asked God to show me what was happening to me and what I can do about it. He did. God showed me fear was the root of anxiety. The Bible has two types of fear, the Fear of the LORD and the spirit of fear. I was dealing with the spirit of fear. It is not of God. I had to rebuke it and pray against it. I studied several scriptures about the difference between the two. I also study scriptures about what the Word said about being anxious, worrying, and God’s promises about the future. 

I continued to pray. I memorized scriptures of love, truth, and trust in God to help me overcome. With God, I conquered the spirit of fear. I could discern what the source of my fears was, what about them that causes me to be anxious, and lead to me panicking. I could deal with each one and eliminate them out of my life.

God gives us a spirit of love, power, and a sound mind. I spend a lot of time exercising, reading, and cooking. I went walking and running often, and intentionally take notice of the positive things in my life. Whenever I felt anxious, I could identify what it was, pray about it and read the word. I focused on life one day at a time. God knew my future, I trust him to give me an expected end. I stayed away from things and people that would give me any reason to be anxious. I focused on things that brought joy and peace. I made pleasing God my priority. I learned to manage stress and found the proper response to anxiety. 

Today, even though I have faced many trials and stressful events I no longer struggle with anxiety or have panic attacks. When I feel overwhelmed, I take it to God and find peace in him through his word. I step away from things and people that are toxic to my well-being. Most importantly, I learned to deal with myself. I must be honest with God and myself about what is truly wrong with me and face these things.