Do you ever ask yourself, what is it about rejection that hurt so much?
I can still recall the very first time I felt rejected. At the tender age of ten. I experienced rejection from someone I was supposed to look up to as my role model. This person was supposed to make me feel loved and protected. It sent me on a mission to prove that I was worthy of that person’s love and approval. That mission was short lived. My heart was filled with anger and resentment. I put up a guard and promised myself to never allow anyone else to make me feel that way again. I felt like if someone close to me could hurt me that way others would attempt much worse. I became very defensive and critical of myself. My emotions spiraled out of control and my self-worth diminished. I lost count after that of how many more times I was rejected and rejected other people myself. I didn’t know the God who loves me yet and how he was going to wrap me in his arms to restore everything in me that was shattered, stolen, and broken. Today, I can say hallelujah thank you, Jesus! He thought I was worth saving. He changed my life. I am saved, free, and whole. I no longer fear rejection. At the age of ten, I didn’t know how to deal with being rejected or how it could possibly make me better. As I got older, I learned how I felt after being rejected did a lot more damage than what was done to me. I had more control than I realized. I was able to learn from being rejected after that and become better. I learned not to get caught up with what did or didn’t happen to me and press forward. I learned to not allow my emotions to control me. I had to stop allowing what happened to me determine what happened in me.
Rejection is defined as “the dismissing or refusing of a proposal or idea”, “the state of being rejected”. To reject is “to refuse to accept, consider, receive, or hear, submit to or take for some purpose”. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like to feel ignored or feel like I’m being dismissed. Being rejected is a part of life. It’s a small part of life in my opinion but it can cause so much damage. Many of us after being rejected are left with a damaged mood, unstable emotions, filled with anger, and a low self-esteem. We become very critical of ourselves and other people. Often, we develop a strong need to belong or be accepted. The truth is you will be rejected many times, not every everyone will like you or accept you, and that is okay. Many people in the Bible dealt with rejection. God’s prophets were rejected by his very own chosen people, the Israelites. They were hated and killed by them for giving them the word God gave them. The people didn’t want to hear them or listened to them. The Apostles faced many trials and rejection. Jesus sends them out and warned them that they would be hated and rejected by the world just as he was. Jesus, who is God, came among us to save us and he was rejected and crucified. If we can all be honest we have knowingly rejected other people. At some point in our lives, many of us rejected the call of God to save us, even though he died for us while we were yet sinners. He chose us, and we rejected him. Too many of us today are still rejecting his call.
“He came to his own people, and even they rejected him”. John 1:11
“He was despised and rejected— a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care. Yet it was our weakness he carried; it was our sorrows that weighted him down. And we thought his troubles were punished from God, a punishment from God, a punishment for his own sins! But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed. All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own. Yet the LORD laid on him the sins of us all”. Isaiah 53:3-6
“if the world hates you, remember that it hated me first”. John 15:18
The next time you feel rejected:
- Pray and give it to God. He cares!
- Read the word. Redirect your thoughts to what God said.
- Make your rejection a redirection.
- Build your self-worth.
- Work on improving your life.
- Understand you’re not always rejected because of you.
- Make a conscious decision to not live for another person’s approval.
In 1 Peter 2:4 Peter said, “you are coming to Christ, who is the living cornerstone of God’s temple. He was rejected by people, be he was chosen by God for great honor”. Other people can reject you, but their rejection may be a part of God’s process to process you for greatness. It could just be God’s plan to redirect you and use you for a great honor. God will not reject his people, and you can give your cares to him (Psalms 94:4; 1 Peter 5:7). You can rest assured, in the end, “we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them”, Romans 8:28.