God I’m Mad At You

Can you imagine waking up and being upset with God? The Almighty, loving God that woke up? That was me the other day. Yes, I was mad at God. We could all agree that’s silly but Jesus understood.

We all go through difficult things and seasons. It’s a part of life no amount of money or earthly wealth can shelter any of us from.

I woke up thinking, God surely you’re ignoring me. I know for a fact you have heard our prayers but you are clearly choosing not to answer. Make it make sense Lord, make it make sense. Then came the flood of tears. Followed by the massive headache I had to take some ibuprofen for later on. If you haven’t been there, teach me your ways.

In my mind, I felt like Jesus if you’re trying to break me, I’m already there. Broken and hurting. What else? What is the meaning of all of this? As if knowing the “why” would make me say, yes Lord I will take these sufferings and enjoy them.

My rant continued. God you must’ve cursed me and I’m just now realizing it. Otherwise, why would you continue to allow me to suffer these crazy situations? By the end of the day I had to tell myself, Tara you just need some food and a nap, like the prophet Jeremiah did.

I don’t know about you but prayer is one of the many and most effective ways I fight my battles. I didn’t even have it in me to pray. I thought to myself, I just might lose this battle.

Here’s the best part in all of this and why I had to share it with you.

That night I texted my dearest friend, “pray for me, I need it”. To which she immediately responded I was on her mind all day long but she didn’t know why. I briefly spoke explained to her how I was feeling. She went on to tell me, “I’ve been interceding all night not even knowing what was going on. I fell asleep on the floor praying for y’all and woke still interceding. I had no idea what is going. So the fact that God had me crying out for y’all not even knowing what was going on means he still cares and He still sees. This is just y’all test before you get to where God is going to take you and your family.”

Whewwwwwww!! I mean, I was silent. I didn’t have words. For starters, God shut me up but I felt his love. I was reminded that he got me, like ALWAYS. To know that at my lowest he already planned my victory. Before I was even faced with that problem, He knew how I would be effected and already had another one of his own praying and fighting for me. How amazing is that?!! If that isn’t the love and mercy of God I don’t know what is.

I don’t know the details of God’s will for our lives but I know his plans are great. No matter how hard the journey gets, they are perfect. Romans 8:28. I know no eyes have seen nor ears have heard them.

The enemy can’t undo what’s already written by God. His Word is final. I was down but He showed himself mighty.

Let me also say, thank God for friends that are submitted and prayerful to be used by God.

Whatever it is. God cares! More than any of us could ever imagined.

Hopefully this was encouraging to you!

“When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.” —Isaiah 43:2