unSTUCK

I can’t express enough how thankful I was for the year 2018. I was at a stand-still. I felt so stuck. God brought me back to a place I convinced myself that I escaped forever. At 28 years old, I was pushed to confront the little girl within me that was still raging for justice for the hurt I experienced growing up. I experienced a childhood I needed to heal from. I sobbed my heart out and embraced that little girl. I had to be where I was for her to be healed. She was stuck. I was still waiting for God to defend me and proved my anger over the years was justified. It was that I was lost, rebellious and reckless. Some things were done and said to me when no one was watching. People barely paid attention when my hurt was expressed in anger. When I messed up and could not seem to merely get it right. I hugged her and told her she was free; she was loved, she was enough. She has always been enough. God had vindicated me. It wasn’t how and when I thought he would, but I am blessed AND HIGHLY FAVORED. I regained freedom in forgiveness. It was a moment of brokenness for me. I was thankful for another altar build where I could rely on God with that fearful part of me. 

It was a season of growth, pruning and character building for me.

At the time I could only describe it as “feeling stuck.”

I wasn’t sure how to move forward or seek God about how I was feeling.  There were times when I felt insignificant, at times frustrated, and depressed even. I thought I had to learn how to cope, but God was showing me the root of my issues. It was always more painless to cope than to heal. Healing meant I needed to surrender that hurt little girl, I had to feel that main, and see how ugly that scar was. I realized God fought for me already AND WON! There was no need for me to continue to defend myself. I no longer desired to fight that same old battle. I could not answer destiny’s call hauling her along hidden in the shadows. I know the direction God is pulling me in, but I felt STUCK! I felt like I was in a position where I was incapable to move. I couldn’t go forward. I certainly had no desires to go backward. I wanted to get away from where I was, but I was unable to.

I had to deal with the unpleasant things I was unable to change or get away from. 

I was progressing and changing but I still felt stuck, not at the same level or stage I started the year with but by the things I could no longer run from. It was challenging to achieve the things I wanted to do, formerly did, or even had planned to do. I was frustrated. I didn’t know how or when I would ever move on from where I was. I wanted to implore God, why here of all places? I felt desolate. I realized God was at work, doing something more extraordinary and bigger than myself. God wanted to spend more time with me. He was dealing with me. The instruments he used didn’t matter if they brought out a change in me. It was time for me to grow.  Whatever made me uncomfortable was what I needed to get closer and deeper in Him. What will you sacrifice to see yourself the way God perceives you? 

God trained me to be empowered and equipped for the task at hand. He prompted me to draw strength and encouragement from Him through His Word, and during my prayer time. 

“Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and beforethou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” Jeremiah 29:11 

I faced many unpredicted battles, roadblocks, setbacks, mountains, and giants along the way and I thought, how am I ever going to win? It’s supposed to be my undefeated season. God’s Word helped me realize it still was and will always be through Jesus. NO MATTER WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!

God was my peace and my motivation. God encouraged me to see beyond my distractions and fears. 

In the end, I was able to say…

“…If God be for [me], who can be against [me]?” Romans 8:31

I am becoming who God destined for me to be. Speaking of “Becoming” I’m looking forward to reading Michelle Obama’s book.

Isaiah 43:2 speak to my entire life story,

“When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.”

Resistance represents a part of the journey. I thought I was just stuck and focused on everything I was not doing. I won battles that could only be fought alone in the presence of God. I rested in Him. When I felt insignificant, I rested. When I was vexed, I rested. When I couldn’t discern what to do, I rested. When I felt unaccomplished, I rested. When happiness felt far-fetched, I rested. When I was frustrated, I rested. By rest, I don’t mean sleep all day or do nothing. I mean I put in work when and where I could. I trusted God’s Word and His plan for me. I managed whatever time I had to prepare and planned for what’s henceforth. When I won, I rested. I rested because I recognized there will be other battles, but I rejoiced in him for every battle and minor victory I already won. This year I’m resting in knowing it is my season to soar like the eagle God says I am! 

My vision is direct. My goals are set. Faith without works is dead! 

An eagle will NEVER surrender to the size or strength of its prey. It will consistently put up a fight to win its prey or regain its territory. I told myself this and now I’m telling you, disregard what is behind you and be brave like an eagle. Fight to preserve what you love. Don’t devote another thought to the size of your enemy. King David didn’t. He completely trusted in God. He knew there was a cause. There will constantly be a cause. Put differently, identify your “why” and remember it. Fight for your vision. Be clear and focus on getting results. Grasp the bigger picture. Don’t complain about the storm, rise higher and SOAR ABOVE it. That’s what an eagle would do. An eagle flies into the storm and uses the wind of it to rise higher. Confront your challenges and when you feel tired implement the wind of them to rest and rise higher. Change. Grow. Learn something new. Defy the critics! You don’t possess time in your 24 hours. Make plans to soar higher!

We were created in the image and likeness of God. We ought to comprehend some things from that. Myles Munroe said it best, “God identifies himself with the eagle.” “If an eagle meets another bird at top flight, it has to be another eagle. They are the only birds that can fly at their altitude. If you keep running into pigeons, and ducks, and ‘tubaka’ doves you are flying excessively low. Eagles NEVER flock! You will exclusively discover them one at a time. What you think is more important than what you do.” Don’t let culture or traditions trap the God-given abilities you were born with. He also said, “convention makes no room for creativity. It doesn’t allow you to believe beyond the norm. The secret to anyone rising is what happens in their belief system.” Don’t limit yourself to failures, or other people’s perspective, believe who God says you are. The rest will be history!

SHIFT YOUR MINDSET AND SOAR!

Goals

Cheers to a blessed year so far!

Cheers to one successful year of blogging!

I’m excited to share with you all what some of my goals were for the year and some of my plans for the upcoming year.

I started this year believing that it was my winning season. It has been just that. My winning season. Did I win every battle? No, I haven’t. Did I overcome every fear? No, I still have some struggles. I experienced a lot of growth; as a wife, mother, sister, woman of God, and I as a person. I worked on some character flaws I became aware of. I am no longer mad at the pain, people, and problems God used to process me.

IMG_1374

I wanted to get somewhere this year. I wanted to accomplish certain goals. I wrote down my vision and made it plain. I took steps towards each one of them at the appropriate time.

Each year toward the end of the year I pray and hope that God will give me something to carry me through the new year. Sometimes it comes through a song or thought but usually while I’m praying and reading my Bible. While my husband and I were driving to Tampa to our mother church (New Life Tabernacle UPC) for watch night service (2017) the Lord gave me “VICTORY”. The word played over and over in my mind as we were listening to “I Give You Glory” by Jonathan Nelson featuring Tye Tribbett. Amazing song! Listen to it. I put on my garment of praise and praised God. My husband had no clue what was happening in my mind at that moment. It happened that this was one of the songs led by our pastor for service that night. I was like, YASSSSSS, come on through Holy Ghost. My soul was blessed. It dawns on me 2018 would be my victory year, my winning season. I didn’t know in what way, but I believe what God told me. One thing I knew for sure was no sweet victory comes without a fight. I prepared my mind to fight for everything God already destined to be mine. I wanted every victory that belonged to me.

I wanted to love more and forgive more quickly. I had to be intentional through constant prayer not allow past offenses to dance in my mind. Whatever came up I would tell myself let it go and be free. I love to read. I really enjoy it, but I never considered how difficult it was going to be to read as much as I used to with a newborn. My goal was to read 60 books out of my list for the year. I wanted to read at least 2-3 books a month. Let me just say I’m not even halfway there. One book took me an entire month to get through. Even though we have a little less than 3 months left the goal is still 60. I will take this same goal into the new year but I’m glad to just be reading each month and making a habit for my son. Social media cheapens the quality of time we spend with family and friends. I didn’t want that to be the case this year. I was more intentional about family days and spending time with the ones I love. I called some, texted others, went on lunch dates with a few, be an encourager or listening ear when there was a need, and prayed for them as the Holy Spirit let me to. I made the decision once to go social media free for an entire year. I deleted all my accounts and apps off my phone. It was one of the best decisions and year of my life. I became a brand ambassador for Sarah Danielle Apparel (sarahdannielleapparel.com). They have beautiful modest skirts and dresses for girls and women. In petite and plus size. Let me not fail to mention at affordable prices. Use my code TARALRA20 for a 20 percent discount off your order.

I have been so proud of myself for accomplishing the majority of the blogging goals I set for myself. It wasn’t easy. None of this has been an easy thing for me. I consistently published a blog post every other week. I published at least 2 blog posts each month, a faith blog and a fashion blog. Later in the year, I incorporated interview blogs. I plan to include more interviews for 2019 and vlogs. I took a liking to video blogs. I did a couple of test vlogs. The responses were good. I planned to produce more quality vlogs for next year. I knew if I blogged consistently and build connections the likes and follows would come naturally. They did, and I exceeded my goals I set in that area. While working on my goals I came up with amazing new content and ideas I can’t wait to share with you all. I made an impulsive decision trying to buy a limited time blogging tool offer another blogger shared with me. Time was not on my side and I didn’t have the money. I decided to hustle for it. I was able to come up with half of what I need but not the other half on time. I realized I should have just focused on the tasks I had before and add that tool to my future needs list. I invested in a good planner that allowed me to write everything down and plan to ensure I had a good start and stayed focus. I can’t tell you all how many times I thought about quitting but I never did.

I dedicated the last three months of the year to other priorities and to plan for the upcoming year. I was supposed to publish this blog the last week of September, but I was in two beautiful weddings. Then I got lazy and put it off until the beginning of this month.

I feel like God has stripped me of a lot this year physically and emotionally, and left me with just the things I needed. I learned not to internalize other people’s actions. I reminded myself it’s not about me. Don’t make it about me. I don’t communicate as well as I thought I did. I either withdrawn entirely or snap eventually. I decided to read books and scriptures on communication to help me. I decided not to have any unspoken expectations of my friends and family. That was easier said than done. If we’re too focused on ourselves, we will always assume other people’s behavior and actions have something to do with us. I became a new mom. I learned to love better, be more patient, listen more, speak less, be more understanding, show more compassion and pray better.

My Joy

The number of goals I accomplished would all be meaningless if I didn’t seek God’s kingdom first and his righteousness.

Connect with us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/chazaqrose/, and Instagram @ChazaqRose